VALENTINE’S DAY CHAOS

Sweet old Valentine’s Day is here again. The one special day set aside for lovers all over the world to get their juice flowing again. Cards and flowers fly left, right and center like witches. This one day is a public holiday in some countries but in some not so much,   but still doesn't stop any one from celebrating though, even if it means working all day and then spend the rest of the day with your soul mate. To those who do not have lovers or their soul mates yet, they feel like they don’t have to celebrate but that’s bullshit, because people are missing the real meaning of the Saint Valentine’s Day. People tend to think that this day is just for lovers like boyfriend and girlfriend or husband and wife kind of situations, which is true but it’s not all about those group of people, your mom, your sister or brother, your dad, your best friend, your neighbors could be your valentine, mostly for people with no girlfriends or boyfriends, but it’s all good. The Saint Valentine’s Day is a day to show love to ANYONE, in short, it a day of LOVE for all.

All thanks to Mr. Saint Valentine for this great and awesome day that his kindness created, now we can afford to send gift cards with feelings that we hardly feel, wear very expensive dresses, go on dates in the most expensive restaurants for a nice time.

This is the one day you look at your partner in a whole different way. The one day you get to think only of the millions of good things they did rather than the hundreds of wrong things they did, I guess. The one day you can actually be sure that the magnificent dress that your partner is wearing is for your eyes and your eyes only.

14 February, the one day where having a good place to have as much fun as you want is the most difficult thing despite all the love in the air. The one day where making a reservation in advance is the key to having some good fun.

Did you know approximately 150 million valentine day cards are exchanged annually making Valentine’s Day the second most popular card-sending holiday after Christmas? 

Cards are the medium that tries to show the feelings of people who are too scared to express their feelings face-to-face, which is ironical right? Think about it though, the one day set aside for love, where people are supposed to pour their hearts out about the way feel about the one they love face-to-face; but instead, some people choose to use the Valentine’s Day cards to express their feelings and avoiding the whole face-to-face thing, well not everyone though.

Just like any other thing the 14th February has its ugliness. It is a day of mix feelings all over, especially those who celebrate Valentine’s Day. Some people hate this day so much, other love it to bits. Some people start up hating this awesome day so bad, but end up loving it like crazy, while some start the day loving everything about it, but at the end of it hates everything that passes by. Some people get up on Valentine’s Day morning super single but by the end of the day, they are planning their weddings. Some people start the day so much in love, but by the end of the day, they are single.       

50 SHADES OF GREY, or PORN?

Sex on TV can't hurt you unless you fall off, which is exactly what makes the below part of this article exciting for you and for me. So 50 Shades of Grey drops in South Africa and every where else on valentines day, that is on Saturday. Exciting feelings in everyone floating in the air  making the count down to the deal day even longer because of all the its sexual content. Guys are the ones who are surprisingly, getting more excited to watch this movie, not because of its love story line but because of the sexual traffic of the movie. Watching 50 shades of grey with your girlfriend, i guess could be compared to watching porn with you girlfriend, which is the best thing you could ever do with your girl. I think the name should be change from 50 shades of grey to 50 shades of porn, and that is no me speaking though, words on the streets and on the internet. It is better not to make any judgments now, we all should wait for the movie, watch it, and then judge it. Oh yeah, there is a lot of sex, as Mae West says, Sex is Emotion in Motion, i bet you the emotions and motions we are about to witness in this movie can make kanye west cry in public.

As we all know a story is only as good if there are no "BUTs". Unfortunately there is a "BUT" in all the fun that you and i think we are about to have during and after watching the 50 shades of grey. Of course its all fun and games until straps, ropes, cuffs, blind fold and whips gets in to your bed room.

Just so you know, if you are the kind of guy who never controls the sexual situations in your bedroom, i kinda feel like you should start learning, because you are in for a treat when this movie goes live. After this movie your girl is going to need you to take control, if you don't, you will be her Side-Guy, and trust me bro, that is not a good place to be in a relationship. Did i mention there is a lot of sex in the movie? oh yeah i did; got to love a movie with that much sex in it. 

SEX TALK, Before Valentine's Day

Sex is an art. Having sex is like attempting to make a master piece, and if a baby comes out of it whether knowingly or unknowingly, well, baam!! master piece right there. Some couples today still have the normal boring sex routine, “man on top and woman under” just stroking, for them, like it was in the beginning, so shall it be till the end, boring right? They don’t try to add the exciting stuff called “The Sex Positions”. This sex talk is like an advice, a sex advice, for all you boring couples out there and those who are still looking to get in to there. There won’t be any pictures in this article because pictures reveal a lot and we will want to keep this civil but not boring though.

1.       Do it with the lights on.

If she says she wants to, “Do it” with the lights off, she crazy. First of all, doing it with the lights off is supposed to be the guy’s idea not the girl, because maybe he doesn’t want to see your ratchet face while the deal is going down. But if he says he wants the lights on while in action, you should be f**king happy and feel appreciated and wanted because that dude likes your ratchet a**. Asking him to put off the lights, is like asking him to fantasies about other girls while humping you, which is not going be so funny to you once he starts calling out other girls names.

2.       Take your time to undress.

Even though naked you is unconditionally awesome to look at, undressing like someone is fast forwarding you is not good for business if you know what I mean. I mean, "unsexy" does not even start to describe your action at that moment. It is horrible to undress quickly  especially when your man is in the mode for some role play. Undress slowly, be the painter and the painting at the same damn time, make your man want you damn it, be the perfect work of art; undo the shirt, then the pants, then the bra, then the panties, or you can do it whatever way you want, but remember do it slowly, as a matter of fact, let that be your foreplay time, we like that, by “we” I mean “guys” like that. Undressing rapidly feels like you are getting ready for a fight. If you like it rough, the time for that is just up ahead but now is time for undressing “foreplay style”.

3.       Self-touching.

Ladies stop touching our entrance before we go in, what the hell some of us guys like that shit. Stop playing with yourself while your partner is still trying to get ready. When you do that you make them feel like they are being benched in a very important game home or away. A sportsman will tell you, that feeling is not good for a man’s D.

4.       Sex Fantasies.

More than 70% of guys have fantasies about hot teachers with glasses or the girl in the hot cheer leader costume. He has done his part by just having that fantasy, you have to do your part and made that fantasy come true. Be the sexy, sexy teacher with the glasses and make your relationship stronger. This act is also known as role playing folks. If your relationship has a problem and role playing can’t fix it, you should do what is right for everyone and break the fuck up. Role playing is like the ultimate cure to all your bedroom problems, you better believe that.

5.       After sex. 

This goes to the guys especially. When guys are done with the f**king, they always tend to curl up on their side of the bed and doze off. We all know that after sex you feel sleepy as f**k, I mean after an exercise like that, you need your rest, understandable. But before you unconsciously doze off, hold her in your arms, make her feel loved and welcomed, yes you douche bag make her feel welcomed after sex.